Grief is Hard

I am part of a support group for children working through their grief.  Nine weeks ago, this group had 7 people, we are now down to two people.  They all had good reasons for leaving the group and a few excuses.  But, I think that the reason people quit the groups is that the journey of grief is tough.  There are books and resources that try to map out the journey as best they can, but the books and resources often fall short.  They fall short because the grief journey is a highly personal thing.  The journey is unique for every individual and for every death.  My own journey through the death of my brother is different from the death of my dad and that is different from my journey through the death of my friend Jan.  I was the common denominator through each of those journeys, but the journey was different for each one that died.  The journey is tough because it is ongoing.  There is no “getting over it” or “closure” over the death,  There is simply learning to live with the death and moving on with life the best we can without our loved one there.  Groups help to connect us with people going through the same experience, which is great support.  And support is the keyword, whatever loving and affirmative support one can get through the journey can make all the difference.  Groups are great, but therapists, ministers, friends, pets, or even books and other resources are great support.

But the journey is unique as each and every individual that goes through the journey and and unique as each and every loved one that has died.  Support can make the journey easier and provide a different perspective on the journey, but it is a journey.  This journey has twists and turns and well as lows and highs, and often feels like it repeats.  Just keep in mind, that the journey through grief is just that, a journey.  All journeys are filled with tunnels, but there is light at the end of every tunnel.  All journeys have their valleys, but each valley has their way up and out.  Finally, all journeys have their promontories, but all promontories have their climb down into the ocean of what lies ahead, which is always unclear.  As with all journeys, there is no avoiding it, going over, or around.  The only way is through.  So take all the support you can get along the ways, and venture through.  Who knows what will be found along the way, but whatever it is will make and mold a much richer and glorious adventure.  Bon voyage.